an odd feeling

today feels odd, i just cant decide whether its a good odd or a bad one. i mean, im nervous about so many things, but im excited too. 
that coupled with the sudden dawning realisation moments im encountering every few hours or so are really srewing with my head lol.
i mean, im always aware, somewhere in the back of my head that everything is changing, but just how much only really dawns on me every so often, that and the worry about the work im lined up for on the 6th. i mean, ive never worked like that before lol. will they be nice? helpful? i guess theres only one way to find out xD
apparently Joshy is throwing a party later..but im here looking after connor. its a shame people cant get here otherwise i'd offer to have it here -.-" 
i miss Jasmine. perhaps a little too much to be healthy. i think i would be going completely mad about uni if it werent for her.
Rach is being elusive again...i guess Alex is there =/
*sigh* so much tidying to do...back later ^__^

times are a'changing....

so..get this....
yesterday morning i wake up, naked, my head spinning, trying not to remember the reason i got so drunk in the first place. my dreams, down the drain, my future, uncertain....

rolling over, i see Rose sleeping quietly next to me and i think that maybe things will work out after all. i mean, we talked about getting that flat this year if we both got stuck here.

the bus jouney was a little bit hellish but went by fairly quickly, i guess my mind was on other things =/

 the crowds of people separated into groups, some laughing, some crying, some just chatting like everything worked out exactly as they planned..i cant help but feel some resentment towards their confidence at this point....

the main hall is almost empty, we avoided the reporters and the crowds, im pretty sure the public dont want to see us crying into our brown paper envelopes.

clutching at the flimsy paper, the key to the rest of my life, i can hardly bare to look at the papers contained within...

Biology: E
Philosophy: D
Archaeology: C
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! WHERE IS MY CCD?!
looks like another year of college for me..best look for a job to pay for flat.....

.........."look at UCAS" says random teacher lady
.........."why, i didnt get the grades" says I
..........."just check, you might have got lucky" she replies

so, i grit my teeth, and check my UCAS account...and there it is....in black and white

offer status: Unconditional
i cannot even begin to describe the feeling of relief, happiness, and fear that rushed through me in that instant. suddenly, everything was changing. my carefully changed plans were no longer needed.

so from here on in, the beginning of a new adventure, the continuation of an era and a whole bunch of madness...look out Chester...here we come! =D